pit stop

In motorsports, a pit stop is where a racing vehicle stops in the pits during a race for refuelling, new tires, repairs, mechanical adjustments, a driver change, or any combination of the above. Not all are allowed in all formulae.

In just a week, school starts once more for the last time. I’ll be embarking on my final journey of tertiary education in NUS. Admittedly, it’s every bit daunting and fear-inducing. For me, thinking about this issue is like taking a swing on a pendulum. Some times I am full of faith, assured that all will go smooth. Other times, I am full of fear and uncertainty, afraid, cowardly, like a little mouse. Right now though, I’d like to believe that I have reached a state of equilibrium, a dynamic equilibrium as opposed to a static one (credits to some remaining physics knowledge in my brain), where I acknowledge fully that it will be difficult, and not all stages will go smooth; yet at the same time, making a conscious deliberate decision to activate my faith in the God who is the most High and who loves me ever so dearly since the beginning of time.

Just 5 days left of this two-month internship with Hans. Looking back, I thank the good Lord for directing my steps. A few months back, I was that little girl who was spoilt for choice of summer plans, pleading for direction from God. Then, I took a brave step and said yes to one and turned down the others and it has been good for me. Surely, with every decision made there is also remorse for the xyz ideas/plans that have not fruited because it was denied. But we are only human and there is only so much we could do. I pray then that all my decisions for may weigh greater in the Father’s glory than all the other decisions against! 

It’s a different hearing from Hans how he works, than to watch him work. I have benefitted so much, watching him work steadfastly, unhurriedly, knowing when to leave work on a pause, and resuming the next day. He never rejects any interruptions to his work, which speaks of his surrender and rest in the Lord. I wish I could attain such a level one day: to be so much in Him, that nothing could shake me out from His peace and pace of love. There were particular days when I heard of the difficult yet important decisions that the professors have to make, the politics that will always be present where there are differing views, and I realised how much we really ought to pray and intercede for the people, brothers and sisters especially, who are in such high places of authority, so that decisions may be made to the glory of the Father. 

My friends are coming home. I’ve met up with Karyn, Aishwarya and finally Tzeyu, Meijun and Viki! Different friends are different. There is an honest exchange of ideas, fears, and future with Karyn that I cherish very much; Aishwarya trusted me enough to share with me her thesis idea (I’m the first); the girls they share their lives with me, and we caught up preliminarily. So much more to talk about! I see God’s faithfulness in all of these. He has heard my prayers before, and He is the one who has nurtured these relationships, and has allowed His light and glory to shine through me, as I live my life in school/on social media the way I am, honest, vulnerable, real. It is a matter of time, I believe that they’ll all come through the gates of heaven! Tzeyu has rededicated her life to Jesus again yesterday after half a year away in Europe. All praise and glory to Your faithfulness in her life, and for drawing her in. I promise you, Daddy, that I’ll partner with you to disciple her well. Thank you for giving me such a sister!

That’s all for now, I shall write and define my thesis proposal now. 


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