i find my days intensifying with intensity. every day presents its own troubles and decisions that i have to make. i think i understand better now what Jesus meant when He said:
Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. (Matthew 6:34 NIV)
today i had supernatural courage to raise up something i was uncomfortable with. i asked Jia after chatting a little if it’s true that she doesn’t want to be the class rep anymore. she said yes. and then i handled it with wisdom by God’s grace to ask Akbar if he wants to continue being class rep, and we resolved some things. and then i rose up to the task. when i expressed my thoughts before i asked Akbar to Hans (because i so desperately needed to get it out of my system), he expressed with relief, “finally”. i laughed and asked rhetorically, “you have been waiting long huh?” i had sensed it in my system through the exchange between Dr Yen and Hans a few weeks back. i was not ready then.
you know, the funny thing is that when God calls you to something He will be sure to prepare you. i have been prepared a few months back through a sister at church with the vision of standing on the table, instead of the chair, and then i had an impression that this would happen in school (here).
and then He knew i need more assurance as always, and so last night at the monthly prayer room, He brought me to a beautiful place:
rest in Me, rest in Me
and then i was on the peak of a snowcapped mountain in a mountain-range. it was breathtaking.
what do you see?
i see many mountains. the sky is so blue. it’s beautiful!
and then i saw many “me”s on all the mountaintops of the surrounding mountains, and Jesus was with me on every single one of the mountaintops.
I will never leave you nor will I forsake you. I am with you on the mountaintops, I am with you in the valleys, I am with you on the ascent and the descent.
but what about the path to take? how do i know where to go?
do you see any tracks in the snow?
no there are none.
walk where you may, and I will always be with you. I will never leave you nor will I forsake you.
even though i am still struggling with the idea that i can go anywhere now because i still do not know what to do after graduation nor am i clear on what i want to do for my design thesis, i am trusting God that He is the One who will unveil His plans for me in His perfect timing. not a second early, not a second late.
i will learn to trust in You. i will trust in Your faithfulness.
and what better way to learn and grow but through empowerment? this year will be a year that sees greater dependence on the Lord like never before! because never have i ever had so many things on me at once!
yet, this is not me, it is God. and all these work is all His. i will just plainly be a good and faithful steward.
Your name be the glory,