I’ve just submitted my application to stay in the school residences for the next academic year that starts in August. I will attempt, no matter how feebly, to write down my reasons and motivations so that I may remain focussed should it be God’s will for me to stay out there alone.
- Independent living. For 21, coming 22, years now, I have been blessed with a good family and my parents take supreme care of me. I am grateful, but now I need to learn how to take care of myself, and learn to live the life that I want to / need to live, without the constant supervision of love.
- Live in freedom. At home, my heart is often torn and frustrated. The fact is that there is too much work, and I am one who loves my family. When I am physically home, I have obligations of love to fulfil, but often it is more obligatory than loving. There is a limit to my resources of time and love through action. I have this vision in mind where I come home to an empty room, and sing songs of praises to my King, to pray on my knees and intercede freely, without need to hide, without bad feelings, where I can be free before my King, and be accountable to no one else but the King my Father Himself.
- Fully present. When I come home during the weekends, I am truly home. I can talk to my parents freely without qualms, I can serve them fully. My time is totally theirs. Quality time, over quantity time.
And this is my prayer:
Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup;
You have made my lot secure.
The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places;
surely I have a delightful inheritance.
Without You, I will not go.
Let Your will be done, on earth as in Heaven.