Today I was home. A rare Sunday, since forever ago. My mind knows not to count the absences. But we knew, how much this Sunday felt good, felt special, felt real.
I slept in till 1:31pm, had breakfast for lunch, had fruits for dessert, and went out with daddy ❤ We haven’t done this in a long long time. Perhaps even the first? Any how, I am glad and very thankful. Cruising through crowds, him making way for me like when I was young, us watching out for one another, no longer just him watching out for me. He mentioned briefly, like all Asian parents who aren’t eloquent with expressions of love, “You have grown up now, we’ve got to let go, and let you roam.” I had thought, ‘Yeah I have already been roaming a lot more than you know.’ But now this thought came to me, ‘You have taught me how.’
That moment when we were on the bus, on the way home, on the upper deck, watching the same sun hanging low in the overcast sky after the storm, without words, listening to other inter-generational conversations, thinking about their conversations, reflecting on our own. I think no words or thoughts can ever express what I felt, but what I felt had felt important enough that I made a mental note-to-self to remember the scene, the moment.
I guess today I can truly say that I love him.
I hope I remember this day, and when I struggle to love I will remember and keep at loving.
Because he loves me too.